My love/hate relationship with breastfeeding

Let's get the negatives out of the way first:

1. I hate that I am the only one that can feed her. (I realize that I can pump but what's the point when I'm right there anyways.)
2. I hate pumping. There is nothing more unattractive than using a breastpump and feeling like a dairy cow.
3. I hate how long it takes to breastfeed. Don't get me started on roadtrips!
4. I hate the first 6-8 weeks.
5. I hate the breastfeeding Nazis that make you feel like a failure because you gave up or didn't even try at all. Why should it matter? As long as the baby is fed is the most important thing, right?
6. I hate having to NIP (nurse in public). Sorry, I'm just not comfortable enough to whip one out and start feeding my baby. If you can, more power to you!
7. I hate that I can only be gone by myself for a few hours at a time. Yeah, the pumping thing again. I know!
8. I hate nursing bras and nursing pads and all the other junk that goes along with breastfeeding.
9. I hate waking up with a wet shirt and a soaked bed.
10. I hate trying to breastfeed and take care of a toddler at the same time.

And now for the positives:
1. I love that I am the only one that can feed her. (I know...HYPOCRITE!)
2. I love that I am giving her the best.
3. I love that she is growing and gaining weight all because of me.
4. I love when she looks up at me and smiles.
5. I love how excited she gets when she sees me first thing in the morning because she knows it's chow time!
6. I love when she wraps her hand around my finger when she is nursing.
7. I love that I get to be lazy sometimes because I'm feeding the baby. (Yeh, I'll admit it!)
8. I love that I still get to eat extra calories because I am breastfeeding.
9. I love that breastfeeding has helped me shed weight. (Still have a long way to go!)
10. I love that I've stuck with it this long.

I exclusively breastfed Addison for a month. No, actually, I think it was less than a month. He just never seemed satisfied after nursing and I was becoming more and more frustrated with breastfeeding and not enjoying any part of it. We started supplementing with formula. When he hit the 3 month mark, I went back to work and he went to daycare. Gradually, the number of bottles with formula started to outweigh the number of bottles with breastmilk until he was switched completely over to formula by 6 months.

Do I regret that decision? Not one bit! He is currently a very happy and healthy 2 year old and still has that insatiable appetite. However, once I quit nursing him completely, I did find that I missed that one on one time with him.

So, when I became pregnant with Amarah, I decided that I wanted to breastfeed her as well. The first 6-8 weeks were rough. I'm not going to lie. Breastfeeding is a learned process. I don't believe those people that say it just comes naturally.

Part of me thinks it's going alot better this time around because I educated myself more on the topic. Part of me thinks it's because I'm staying at home now. Whatever the case, 3 months, 1 week and 1 day and still going strong! Go me!